Don't tread on me

This is a testament to how easy I had it while I was a missionary. I own two pairs of dress shoes, both of which were with me the entire two years. I have been back for over six years now, still using the same shoes, and I am finally going to retire one pair:

Other returned missionaries show off their worn-down shoes as evidence of the countless miles they covered on foot spreading the Good Word. I, on the other hand, was nice and comfortable sitting on heated seat cushions inside my car.